A final word on patience: Day 7

Well it's been over a week since I started this focus topic. I'm writing today having not thought in depth about it, but just feeling really compelled to get some thoughts out. Bear with me!  I've just been really experiencing each moment these last few days. Some have been hard moments. There have been light and positive ones in between because often a difficult period births intense laughter and gratitude. I love these moments :) But I'm starting to understand the hard ones too and appreciate them for what they are.

I would dare to say that I feel rather stuck at the moment. I'm not really sure which way to go to make things work. But I don't feel panicked or overly emotional or claustrophobic as I once would. It's more lucid. I'm looking at everything that seems to be going "wrong" and understanding that it's part of the journey and it's supposed to be that way. I'm taking notes, learning how to get through it and having faith that I will get to the other side even if it's not exactly how I initially intended.

They say when it rains it pours. Well that's because we don't always know how to dance in the rain. One thing happens, then another, then another and suddenly we think, well fine!  Drown me! I clearly just can't get it right so I might as well take it all! We feel sorry for ourselves and allow all the things that happen to be negative. But it's these moments where it never seems like it's going to work itself out that we must really commit to living presently in the moments that we're given. Patience is about what you do while you're waiting, not just the waiting itself.

I don't know what happens next. But if I wake up everyday and learn to embrace what I'm given, I am bound to really get valuable life lessons. Would I love things to be cushy and easy? sometimes ;) But ultimately I'm not sure I would ever get a chance to explore my inner B if that were the case. And hell I will say it! I really like who I am, who I am becoming and everything I learn about myself along the way. I've been given an opportunity, a window to explore who I am and that really is a gift.

BPositive. BFree has always had a significant impact on my heart from the very start. But I'm not sure I realized how intensely the intrinsic level of positivity would ultimately guide my life. I really believe that positivity creates a path that is beautiful even if it's next to weeds, trash and ugliness. And part of staying positive is being patient with all the bumps and obstacles along the way. Right now I choose stay on that path through the storm.  I choose to dance in the rain.

I've used this picture before and I am using it again. Will the storm pass? Yes. Will it be brighter and sunnier and dryer on the other side? Of course. But what are you doing in the meantime? 

BPositive and BPATIENT!!!! And please, please, please, let your times of struggle be opportunities to learn more about who you are. Let your walls down and let yourself in.

Love always, 

B

A Week of Patience: Day 6: Finishing Last

This week has been more insightful than I could have expected. I thought I would simply post about patience and use the daily things happening around me to describe it in different ways. I like focus topics simply because they keep me focused. But really utilizing patience this week has allowed me to see it everywhere and realize that it's not black and white to just be patient about something. I'm seeing it on the surface and at great, great depths. I even realized that I've been pretty impatient about certain longer term goals in my life.

In other words, I'm feeling a little out of sorts and actually having trouble connecting my thoughts about this topic.

I went running this morning with a running group here in town. They do a 3 mile loop or a 5 mile loop and everyone runs at different paces. I knew my pace was slow. It always has been and unless I decide to change it, it always will be (little legs will only go so fast until you motivate them further.) I decided to challenge myself a little and do the 5 mile loop even though I haven't done more than 3 in a couple months. This was already a sore subject for me. Mentally I have this ability to run many, many miles, but I am not so ignorant to understand that without training, my body just doesn't want to do it anymore.
I therefore have been practicing patience with my body and allowing myself to go at a pace that feels challenging but not painful, knowing that with time and consistent running I will get my stamina back.

During this run I watched girls pass me, running together, breathing and chatting easily.  I would clearly be doing this on my own and hanging out in back, the last to finish the run. But I really didn't feel sorry for myself. In fact I was enjoying this run (albeit hilly and challenging for me.) I loved the sun, the sweat, the neighborhoods, and the sounds all around me. I practiced relaxing my face and calming my breathing. I remembered why I go running and why it speaks to me so deeply.

There was a time not too long ago that these moments would be agonizing. I never liked being last. I made excuses for myself. The heavy breathing and sore legs were irritating. And I always pushed to be a better runner so I could feel accomplished. I focused on perfection of the outcome rather than enjoyment of the journey. Thinking about how far I have come from that person was a very deep and personal reminder that in all different seasons of our lives we really do grow. I know you are all sick of hearing me talk about growth! But I feel as though growth and patience are deeply connected. Thinking of myself only less than a year ago and myself now, I realize that being patient with myself: allowing mistakes, taking chances that were scary, exposing my words, and being okay with failure has been a real gift. I really value who I am inside because of it.

Of all the chaos that has been thrown at me this week, I am immensely grateful for these moments of clarity. A year ago I would not have handled a week like this in the way that I am able to now.

Really ask yourself today if you are giving yourself the best opportunity to thrive. And be patient with all your mistakes, failures, and set backs. They are there as a tool for you to get stronger.

It's not always a bad thing to finish last.

BPositive and BPatient with all that contributes to your growth!

Love, 

B

A week of patience: day 5

, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

I had an entire post all worked out in my head. But as I sit down now to write it out, I'll be honest, all I want to do is relax! I'm exhausted.

I spent the week becoming certified in disaster triage, search and rescue and medical ops. While I'm no EMT and I'm sure the training is nothing even close, I feel like I've given it all I've got this week. And now it's time to rest my mind and body.

So instead of forcing the post I'll leave you with the photo to think about and I will be patient with my writing. The words will come when it's time and I'm more rested.

BPositive and BPatient with your creativity!

Love,
B

A week of patience: day 4

, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

Ah, the delicate glow of fluorescence...

8 hour training days require a different kind of patience than what we practice normally. I am sitting in a room with flourecent lights, bright projection screens, and stale air. Regardless of the content, wrestlessness kicks in and impatience is the natural consequence. I'm glad this training session occurred during my week of focusing on patience. I believe simply because it's been in the forefront of my mind, I am absorbing more education. It's powerful to experience this so that in the future I know that with a focus word or concept I can really enhance what I can learn and how much I can grow. What a tool!

So no matter how long your day may seem, have some patience and see what comes of it!

BPositive and BPatient with your environment!

Love,
B

A week of Patience: Day 3

The funny thing about letting yourself really focus on a life skill, is it often gets worse before it gets better. I've been thinking a lot about my friend B and what she shared with us about her cleanse in yesterday's post. There she was going through something so challenging and emotional and all she wanted was to feel her best.

I do not feel my best right now. Do you ever step outside yourself and take a look at things? I've got bags under my eyes, I'm low on energy, and I'm definitely lacking that "shine" we all like to have as we walk through life. I've been focusing on being patient with others and patient with myself and what do I end up doing last night?

Crying. Crying, crying and more crying. I cried for my recent bout of insomnia. I cried for my ever returning neck pain. I cried for the chaos in my new house. I cried for finally processing just how hard it was to spend time with family and then leave again. I cried for how busy A has been and how this week just seemed endless. And the of course I cried more simply because I was crying.

Now don't feel sorry for me. I certainly don't (although I think I felt a little sorry for me last night) This cry was eye opening and helped me release some much needed emotional tension. But where to go from here? I could sit and feel sorry for myself or try and dissect things a little further. I finally put myself to sleep after all this emotional dumping. Part of what soothed me some was realizing how much pressure I had been putting on myself. How even with all this focus on patience I was missing it's value on a deeper level. I reminded myself that:

Sleep always comes.
Pain will heal.
Busy schedules eventual lighten up.
Family visits always come sooner than I think.
Crying always ceases.

I really enjoyed what B talked about in her post yesterday about the pressure she put on herself to feel good. I often put pressure on myself to be well rested, alert and shining through life. But if I'm forcing those things, they're not real and honest. And truthfully, I'd take the crying moments of revelation over the forced moments any day.

Even when we're not feeling our best, if we keep patient with ourselves at all levels our true nature will shine through, beautiful and bright.

BPositive and BTruly Patient with your body, mind and spirit!

Love,
B

A Week of Patience: Day 2-Honerary Guest Post

Hello BPositive BFree readers and supporters!

I am so excited that our friend B asked me to write a guest blog in honor of Patience Week and I just want to say right at the start how honored I am to not only have been asked to write this but I am also honored that you have allowed me to be a part of this space. I hope you find my words worthy of your time and maybe you even get a chuckle or two while reading my very first blog post. Ever. Yikes! Here we go! ( I would like to state, for the record, that I hold no psychology degree and the opinions in this piece are based solely on my own humble observations.) OK, for real this time.

Patience. In my mind patience takes two forms. I'll call them outward patience and inward patience. Both are muscles which, like any other, must be flexed and strengthened and like many others, may go
underutilized. (Just like my triceps!) I will break down these two forms of patience now. 1) Outward patience is how you deal with others. Other people, other situations and things which you cannot control. Maybe you are stuck in a traffic jam or you are in a long line at the grocery store. Maybe you're a parent whose child has just asked what feels like the millionth "Why" question in the last hour. Whatever the situation, they all have the power to become extremely stressful and irritating but here's my secret- they dont' have to be. OK, so maybe you already know my secret. You've heard this before from a friend or discovered it yourself. Knowing this has become like a secret weapon in my life whenever I find myself in a situation such as waiting in an extra long line at the grocery store when all I need to buy is shampoo and lemons. Yes, shampoo and lemons. Here's what I do. Instead of getting annoyed with the person in front of me for not allowing me to go first in line when I have two items and he has 34, I do the exact opposite. I revel in the fact that I have absolutely no control over my current situation. There isn't anything I can do to speed along the process no matter how long I stare at the cashier and send mental messages to scan faster! So, I sit back, relax and look around at the people who surround me that are letting themselves be controlled by the situation. I send them mental messages as well. Don't sweat it. Your groceries will get scanned, the traffic will start moving and eventually your child will tire. And if not, there's always the classic strategy of distracting them with something shiny!

2) Inward patience: This kind of patience often eludes me but I am beginning to see its value and have started to flex the muscle. (Triceps, you're next!) Recently I completed a 10 day cleanse. It was a food-based elimination cleanse that got rid of common toxins and allergens in your diet. I was not allowed to consume gluten, dairy, meat, sugar, caffeine, alcohol or processed foods. For someone whose diet consisted of a lot of processed foods and not enough fruits and vegetables I knew it would be a challenge but I thought 'It's only 10 days. I can do anything for 10 days'. Well, let me tell you. Those 10 days were some of the hardest of my life but I am forever grateful for experiencing them. (A big THANK YOU go to the leader of the cleanse "P" and the creator of this blog "B" for their unflappable support). Before starting the cleanse we were told that we may experience some symptoms while our bodies were detoxing. Irritability and a drop in energy being two of them. However, it was also said that after Day 3
your body should start to regulate itself and that the symptoms may become less severe. For me, the irritability showed up on Day 4 and didn't leave until Day 9. Frustration showed up on Day 1. This was
going to be a long 10 days. When Day 4 came and I felt my anger and frustration levels gradually rising throughout the day I thought 'Hey! I thought I was supposed to be feeling good by now. When's that
happening?' I continued to feel this way on days 5,6 and 7. Day 7 is when I hit an all time high in terms of frustration with my mind and body and their seeming lack of cooperation. I wanted to feel calm and
peaceful. I had images of me wearing long, flowy skirts and taking walks in the cold air. I wanted to feel good and happy but what I felt was cranky and impatient. I wanted to feel good today. Not tomorrow.
Today. Not in 5 minutes. Now. Once the level of frustration reached its boiling point and even I couldn't stand to be around me anymore I decided that it was time to change my outlook so that my experience
would change. I didn't need a bagel or a steak or a hamburger. What I needed was patience. Patience with my body and my emotions and trust that the cleanse was doing good things not only for my body but for my mind as well. I was putting so many expectations on myself that apparently did not match my mind's or body's process. If I needed to be grumpy and frustrated in order to learn the lessons that I learned while doing the cleanse (and there were so many) then I would have the patience to wait it out. The sooner I allowed myself to be angry or frustrated when I wasn't feeling great and stopped scolding myself for feeling that way the sooner things got a little easier. I relaxed the muscles of my body and strengthened the ones in my brain. So, having patience with yourself may not come easy and it may require you to practice it. Daily. Hourly. Whatever it takes it will be worth it. Patience. It's a gift you can give yourself and others and it really does pay off in the end.

Thank you all for reading this extra long guest blog post and for bearing witness to my first ever blog post of any kind. I hope we can meet again. Until then.....

BPositive. BFree and BPatient with yourselves!

LB

I didn't know LB for very long, but in the few times that I had the pleasure of visiting with him it was clear to me what a special person he was. His charisma was impossible to ignore. In fact I often found myself entranced by his stories, his laugh, and the vibrancy in which he lived each moment. I would find myself just lost in his eyes, smiling to myself at how this man has lived! Have you ever met someone that wears every experience they've ever had right on their face? In every wrinkle, every expression, and every smile LB showed me what it meant to really be alive every single day.

I think we all struggle with appreciating each moment. It's easy to get caught up in hassles and frustrations and forget what it's all about. I'm really starting to understand that every single moment we live and breathe is an important moment. Whether it's a moment playing keyboards with some of the biggest musical icons in history or spending time with your friends in your home or having quiet time to yourself, no moment is any better or worse than the next. They are all equally important. LB was a person that truly understood this concept. In the many stories I have heard him share, he tells each one with passion and intention, regardless of who stars in the story.

We can go through life doing almost nothing and live until 107. But what kind of a life is that? Some people live a lot more life in their shorter time here on earth because of how much they appreciate every second they've got. It seems LB has lived at least 100 more years of life than what his chronological age implied. I'm really thankful to have learned from him and I intend on continuing to learn from all the life he has left us with.

Thanks for everything LB. I think you have touched more lives than you ever thought possible.

Love,
B

A week of Patience: Day 1

As I promised, I stayed very conscious of patience today. It was harder than expected. I seemed to be getting along just fine as I stayed patient with other people, but patience with myself was another story.

I have a new role in an already established non-profit organization. The boundaries of my role are not clearly defined. It allows me to have creative freedom and space to spread my wings, but with that comes uncertainty and fear. It feels as though I am meant to take on some leadership, but my leadership skills are a little rusty.

Yesterday I had to run a meeting. It was my meeting. It wouldn't have existed, had I not sent out invitations, and suddenly there was pressure to perform. I was not just a participant, I was responsible! Responsible for making sure peoples' time was not wasted. Responsible for a productive outcome. Responsible for reporting back to my supervisor.

I expect a lot of myself especially when others are counting on me in some way. In most respects, I was happy with the outcome of the meeting. A lot of ideas circulated, plans were made, and people met for the first time and became excited about the prospect of these upcoming projects. For all those reasons, a meeting like this was a succes.

But then there was me. Walking home. Slightly unsettled. Not really sure what just happened and how it translates to forward progress. It was a mix of emotions, ideas, and uncertainty floating around in my head. What am I supposed to do with all this? Why can't this be a simpler task?

But the answer to these questions are clear now: Be patient, if it were simple your job wouldn't be necessary. It will come together. Be patient with the projects. Be patient with yourself.

It's true that time heals most wounds, but time also helps us develop into whatever we are to be. This experience helped me realize that patience with myself will allow me find out what that is as well as keep me sane while I take the journey to get there.

BPositive and BPatient with Yourself!

Love,
B 

A week of patience

Every now and then, a certain word just slaps me in the face. And other times is subtly hints me to remember it all day long. Both have happened this week, and the word is Patience. I know I have talked about patience before, but it seems I need to be looking into it more deeply and more consistently. A day of patience is nice. Even an hour of patience gives me a sense of accomplishment. But I think I will feel a better sense of fulfillment if I give this a try for a week. 

2 days ago I was on a walk to run some errands. These were not the fun kind of errands either. I was waiting in lines and being told I didn't have the right documents and having to walk home again. It seemed nothing was going right the first time. Every task involved two or three extra steps in order to cross it off my list. I don't typically handle this very well. 

But earlier that morning I had made a decision. No matter what happened that day, I would remain calm and patient. I honestly thought I'd have to fake it and convince myself to stay calm, but I was truly able to remain patient. I smiled at people as I waited in line. I was kind and patient with customer service on the phone. I even waited until the cross walk sign blinked that little walking guy to go across the street. I was enjoying my time! 

How could this be? Not only was I enjoying my waiting time, I was really enjoying the whole day. It was the first day since I'd moved into my new house that I'd felt happy. And my day was filled with DMV, banks, and other mundane errands! 

So being happy is not only a result of a perfect day... interesting... 

Feeling so great I thought I'd make a conscious commitment to be a patient person this week. I don't know what will be thrown my way, and I'm sure I'll run into bumps. But I'm curious to test out my patience and really utilize it when things more challenging than customer service people come my way.

On the last part of my walk that day, I began noticing things. Lots of little things I wouldn't normally notice. I had previously been putting up walls all around me, only seeing what I wanted. But that day I was reminded that there is so much happening all around me whether I choose to see it or not.

So let some life through your walls today, even if it's just a little! 

BPositive and BPatient!

Love,

B

Om

Ceramic heart, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

I love my weekly yoga class.

For a whole hour I do nothing but focus on my breathing, my body, and my connection with the ground below me.

To start the class we chant "Om."

Om is a mantra that represents the unification of the body, mind and spirit.

We often operate each of these components of ourselves separately. How many times have I been driving (body) and have been so far off in my own world (mind) that I don't even remember traveling the miles. Or when I take time to connect spiritually with my surroundings, in stillness and silence, my body won't let go or relax.

But in this hour every week, I am practicing what Om has the ability to achieve. It's not perfect but its an effort. And all I know is I feel so peaceful when I'm done. And that has to mean something!

When I chant Om in my yoga class, my heart feels fulfilled, my body is relaxed, and my mind is quiet. I bring my hands to my heart and breathe out feeling with all my being that this is where I'm supposed to be.

Om

BPositive and BUnified!

Love,
B

Figuratively Speaking

I took a drawing class in college when I was 19. I loved art in so many ways, but certain mediums were challenging for me. Drawing posed many difficulties for me as being precise, has never been one of my strong points. Staircases, landscapes, vantage points, and perfect shapes never looked quite like the object being portrayed. I remember one of our first studio assignments was to draw a series of objects from the center podium. They were a mess of random shapes like blocks, spheres, cylinders, and cubes. It felt impossible and pointless. Who cares about perfect shapes anyway?

Life got a little easier for me when we began drawing actual objects. Things we use in daily life like tools, shoes, rope and items with at least a little more texture. 

But it still felt so forced. What on earth do all of these objects have to do with one another? A clog? A hammer? A rock? A saw? 

I continued my attempts in this class feeling pretty defeated. We did human statues and skulls. We did landscapes where we could choose any view of trees mixed with man made aspects of the outdoors. I tried so hard and just felt as though I had failed over and over again. It never looked quite right. 

These projects were disconnected. They feel meaningful. They were simply looking at something and copying it. I had no reason to interpret these situations. They were arbitrary and and mutually exclusive from my art. 

It wasn't until we began a segment in figure drawing that I found my artistic voice. The premise behind figure drawing is fluidity and movement. That was something I could wrap my head around. It's interesting to call back on these experiences. It's given me a better understanding of whats going on currently a little bit better. 

The thoughts in my head are a bit disconnected like my original assignments. They're tools I know I need to use, they're tasks I know I need to get done, they're inspiration without execution, they're overwhelming and disjointed. How will everything I'm feeling and trying to accomplish this year come together to form a beautiful piece of art? It seems impossible. 

I decided that I need to start approaching each day with more fluidity. I need to have faith that I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I need to stay present in each task. And I need to let things happen in a natural way. Because when you don't force things, they really can turn out beautiful. 

Don't force it, Just let it all happen. I think you'll like the results. 

BPositive and Just let it all B!

Love Always, 

B

Zen Master Cleaner

I watched a movie the other night with A and our friend C. It was our first night in the new house. C had helped us move and we decided a movie break was in order. Leave it to A to find the perfect movie.

I'm not here to give away the entire movie. You will have to watch for yourself! But one of the messages in the movie has stayed with me this week as I get settled into this new environment. 

We must find mindfulness in everything that we do. In every moment, something is happening even if at first glance it doesn't seem like much is going on. We have to really listen and really be mindful of our surroundings. If we can be mindful and peaceful doing the most mundane of tasks, then we are truly living in the moment. 

Today my friend B was joking with me and called me a zen master. Now while this is far from true, it reminded me of the movie. At the time I was cleaning the baseboards, windows and blinds of my new living room. Dust was flying, I was sneezing and not really enjoying myself too much. But with the movie in mind and what B had said to me I decided to change my attitude. If I'm going to be dusting, I might as well be doing nothing else but dusting. I relaxed my muscles and told myself it doesn't matter how long it takes, I must dust moment. And surprisingly enough I really did begin to feel more peaceful. It was satisfying (and not in the manic way it can be when I'm channeling Monica Gellar..an I do have those days...) but in a calming way that told me, you are right where you need to be right now. Just enjoy it. Just be. 

So today, I dub myself Zen Master Cleaner. Where can you add a little more peace into your life? 

BPositive and BPeaceful! 

Love,

B

Goodbye Ego, Hello Awareness

Awareness, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

Goodbye ego, hello awareness

One of the perks of living downtown is that I am in walking distance to some fantastic communities. One of my new communities is at the natural food co-op just a block from my house. Every Tuesday they offer a free yoga class to co-op members. A and I decided it would be beneficial to really utilize these opportunities and become a part of the community.

Yoga brings out some anxiety for me. As an ex-gymnast I feel a responsibility to myself to be flexible. As someone that practices being peaceful and calm I expect myself to maintain this composure in class. And there's the need to do things properly and not be the one in the class who is constantly corrected.

I was therefore quite surprised to find that B, the yoga instructor began addressing my fears one by one as we progressed through the class. Maybe the fact that we share a name has given us some secret connection!

"yoga is about listening to your body and being in that moment." She says

"feel the ground holding your feet"

"everything that is happening; thoughts, feelings, pains are okay because it is what is happening. There is no pressure to be anything more than what you are at that very moment. "

"as long as you have awareness of your body, you are doing yoga correctly."

I realized that all of my previous anxieties were ego driven. I was stuck outside myself and not reaping the benefits of what yoga really means.

I need to perform.
I need to be perfect.
I need to be something I'm not.

If I am practicing awareness I need not worry about any of these things because I am exactly what I am. And that moment is just right.

What B taught me tonight was to set my ego aside. Choose awareness of self in that moment instead of what we want ourselves to be.

And this is certainly a skill that can be translated into other aspects of life. I'm going to start practicing awareness of my self and the people and things around me. I bet there is a lot more I'm about to see now that my eyes are a little wider.

I invite anyone to practice awareness with me. I think is a beautiful lesson to be shared with all!

BPositive and BAware!

Love,
B

Manna food garden

Manna food garden, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

I had my first official meeting for my upcoming year of community gardening today. It was a brainstorming session where excited, talented and creative minds came together. It's exciting. There are so many possibilities and deep systemic issues to tackle. It's a little overwhelming but it's the kind of task that I want to be overwhelmed by.

Back home there are boxes all over my floor. A and I have officially moved into our quaint little downtown house. I don't know where to put anything and I'm feeling a bit cluttered!

As I sit smack in the middle of the mess and reflect back on today's meeting at Manna Food Garden I am actually soothed by the chaos around me. How strange for me! Chaos is never something I handle well. But this is exciting chaos. This is new house, new job, tackle productive issues chaos. I realize that it's better not to have a controlled and planned outcome. There will be more room for growth and opportunity this way.

I am going to be blogging quite a bit about my community garden experiences. Not so much the day to day nitty gritty but more about what I'm learning, the people I'm meeting, as well as how we are doing what we can to lower poverty rates in the panhandle of Florida. Food is life and everyone deserves the best quality of life possible. I'm proud to be a part of a movement that supports peoples' rights to quality living.

And so begins my journey....

BPositive an BThe Change!

Love,
B

Focus

Focus, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

Finally home and ready to focus. It's going to be a very interesting year... Stay tuned.

What will you be focusing on in 2012?

BPositive and BFocused!

Thankful for Friendship

More laughing, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

What are you thankful for today?

BPositive and BThankful!

Love,
B

Road Thoughts

, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

On the road again...

So many voices are speaking to me right now. My own voice urging me home to new adventures. The voice of my marriage reminding me of teamwork, partnership and contentment. Voices of my dear friends and family that tug my heart back north for more laughter and conversations about life. 

One voice that reached me today comes from a blog I have recently started following. P, a mother, a writer and lover of all things healthy and clean always has really insightful things to say. Her latest post is vulnerable, honest and thought provoking. I wanted to share it with you all here. 

http://persephonebrown.com/blog/2011/12/moving-past-2011

After reading P's blog I started thinking of what my word for the new year would be. In the past i practiced patience, growth, and acceptance. I continue to finely tune these aspects of myself but I feel as though this year brings something even bigger. 

Over a year ago when I started this blog, I barely knew who I was or what I was doing. So I just started doing something! Anything! Writing, knitting, running, creating.... This year I am feeling pretty certain about who I am. I miss New England but I'm excited to keep living my current life in Florida. I'm nervous about having great responsibility but exhilarated at the opportunity to make real changes in my community. And although I'm still not certain how it all comes together I feel incredibly confident that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. And for the first time in a while I am living quite presently. 

After careful consideration I've decided my word this year is focus. I have been given tools to help do great things and I just need to stay focused. 

Thanks P for providing me with an avenue to really contemplate the start to this year. 

P also has an amazing cleanse she does with her clients. Check it out on her website (http://persephonebrown.com/cleanse)  and get a clean body and mind to start the new year! 

BPositive and BYour word for the new year! 

Love,
B 

Express Yourself

Listening, a photo by springknitter on Flickr.

It's January the first. Albeit cliche, I am inspired on this new year's day. Projects swim through my mind, future travel plans have me excited, and the very prospect of a new gardening adenture leaves me giddy with anticipation.

I have always been an excitable person, but it seems that recently I have an abundance of ideas. Can we have too much inspiration? The only way I can describe this feeling is equating it to laying in bed at nigh with a racing mind. I frantically take notes on ideas in my journal and I book mark creative websites, imagery, and concepts. But what to focus on?

We all have the same 24 hours to work with each day. In our waking hours, it is our commitment to our vision that ultimately creates success (whatever success means to you.) And ultimately it's our expressions of self that leave each one of us so unique and special.

I've been scouring some wonderful website lately. Women such as Elsie Larson of abeautifulmess.typepad.com and Leigh-Ann (LA) of Frecklednest.typepad.com and Zooey Deschanel with her awesome new website Hellogiggles.com

I find these women to be incredibly talented and one of a kind. I enjoy reading what they have to offer because I relate to their love for reaching out to others with their lifestyle, beliefs and positivity. These ladies know how to express themselves!

I am learning how to be creatively inspired by their unique abilities rather than envious. It's easy to want what they have. To have the following they have, te business success and the notoriety. But I am me and that is not my path right now. Instead I let their words and success inspire me to be more uniquely me. I stay True to my abilities and challenge my creative spirit. BPositive BFree is an expression of who I am and nothing more. It challenges me, helps me grow, and inspires me to be a more self aware person.

2012 will surely bring many new experiences. I will be working to build community gardens, knitting merchandise for my online and Florida based business and continuing to write everyday. Somehow, all of these seemingly separate things in my life will come together. They are all an expression of me and I'd be doing a disservice to myself if I didn't see where it all leads.

I hope 2012 brings inspiration to all. Remember that you are uniquely you and no one else. Go out there and get em!

BPositive and BFree to Express Yourself!

Love,
B