Monday, September 19, 2011

Your Love is Enough

About two years ago I was fortunate enough to meet the most giving people I have ever encountered. They came from all over the world to a small town in Kentucky in order to work with children and adults with disabilities at a life changing place called camp KYSOC.

Over the months that we spent time together, working, singing, laughing, crying and sharing stories, I learned about each one of these people. I learned about their lives, their intelligence, their work ethic and their hearts.

I’m writing today because one of these friends, one of my family members has lost someone special to her. It got me thinking about life and how we approach things.

This sister of mine, L, has a heart that forever gives. It gives to others before it provides for itself. It thinks of others before it thinks of itself. It’s a heart that sometimes feels as though it is not giving enough even though it is so selfless.

L, I just want to tell you that the love you show for others is enough. It’s ok to be busy and not always physically present for others. It’s ok not to always have the words to share that were on your mind. It’s ok that things don't always go exactly as you planned. I just want you to know that from what I see and what I felt when I spent time with you is that your love is enough. On the receiving end we all feel it just because you are who you are. I feel it from you even when we’re not communicating that often. This is why you are such an incredible counselor, a loving fiancĂ©, an exceptional friend, and the best niece your beloved aunt could have ever had.

I felt this was not only important to share with you, L, but with others who may feel this way sometimes. Sometimes we don’t always know the best way to give. Or maybe we regret things we never said. Or maybe we’re unsure of how the way we share love is being received.

Just show your love the way you know how. We all do it differently.

I love you L. Your aunt loves you and your KYSOC family is with you always. That’s what family is for.

BPositive and BStrong


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

52 sunsets

My husband A once had an idea for a book.  We make time, once a week to watch the sunset and record it with photos, thoughts, and memories. We would put those sunsets into a book and have a record of a spectacular year. I've always loved this idea. There are times in our lives where we don't always take the time to watch even just one sunset a week or a month or longer!

We chose sunset because there is something about that magical time of day that resonates with us. It's a time to transition from a busy days to relaxing nights full of rest and peace. It's different for everyone. Perhaps for some a sunrise captures that feeling. Or maybe watching the deer when they first come out in the morning walking through dewy grass. Regardless of location, these are moments where we just listen and watch and let our inner dialogue run wild in our minds. No control. No worry. No wanting to be anywhere else.

This week I have watched the sunset every night. My mind has been occupied on other things during the day and truthfully I have let my emotions and inner growth be slowed by daily tasks. I don't want to force myself to be something I am not right now. But I know it feels right to watch those sunsets. To have that 45 minutes where it's just me and the birds.

Sunset watch by springknitter

It's quiet on my  road. I watch the mullets leap from the bay and splash creating concentric circles. I watch the pelicans glide so silently just inches from the water's surface to join their mates. I listen to the constant gurgles of the water slurping against the rocks as the wind shifts. Every day is slightly different. Every minute I sit the events of the night progress.

I love a good sunset not just because of how it looks but for how it feels. How it calms me when my mind is racing. Sunsets can be romantic. They can be shared with loved ones and friends. But for me, right now, sunsets are a personal time out from everyone elses chaos. I am so thankful that I have a place to watch them over the water any time I want.

Perdido sunset by springknitter

So what will your sunset be this week?

BPositive and BThankful for all that Nature Provides for Us!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Rain by springknitter

I love rain.

I forget how much I love rain until the skies open up and pour cool, clean drops down to the ground. I stood at the shore of the bay as fresh water mixed with salty sea and felt so still. Like a statue. I looked around and noticed that I was not the only stone still body taking in the rain. The seagulls were on there posts, wings by their sides, heads pointing straight forward. The pelicans accompanied the gulls with their beaks tucked under their wings. Far above in the sky small black birds continued to fly. And I'm sure beneath the dancing waters life continues on as usual for our aquatic friends. 

I am so thankful for the rain. I can only describe it as a fresh start. Clearing away all that is muddled in my mind. Washing away any ugly thoughts and selfish acts. Giving me a chance to take a deep breath and slow down. 

As I walked back to the house I actually started laughing. My shirt was clinging to my stomach and it was so cold that it tickled. I felt relieved of so many pressures that have been weighing on me. Life never seems to be simple. Aren't we always chasing what we want? Today my life is what it is. It's happy. It's salty air by the bay. It's surrounded by love. It's peaceful. It's washed of distress. It's all going to be okay. 

BPositive and BCleansed by Nature!


Monday, September 5, 2011

Pity Party, Table for 1?

We all do this. We all feel justified in doing this. But does it really make us feel any better?

I can't answer for anyone else but I can tell you that it never makes me feel better. It's a temporarily release of everything followed by an ugly feeling of total uselessness.

Recently,  I have found myself feeling sorry for my imperfect situation and for everything I do not have.  But frankly, I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of not writing. I'm tired of complaining. I'm tired of being irritable. I'm tired of wanting to hole up and not talk to anyone.

So today I write and I will continue to write this week. This post will be a tribute to what is great in life and why this unique path I am on is so special. And I will keep posting about all the beauty around me this week as a reminder that this is a good life and an important step.

Everywhere we end up, we are there to do something.  We need to decide if we want to recognize that or not. I seem to throw myself these pity parties at least once per change of location. There is excitement upon arrival, a little numbness and shock about where I am, and then suddenly a whopping WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

But I am here and I am here for a reason.

My dear friend M talks about the importance of seasons. Seasons change no matter what we do and where we live. I currently live in a place with few seasons, yet as we approach autumn I actually feel the season changing. The weather has dropped a few degrees and the air has thinned out but these are not the reasons why I feel change. Inside I know fall is a time of new beginnings. In Judaism the new year is always in September or beginning of October. In childhood we get our supplies together and get ready for school come Labor Day. I'm ready for a new beginning. I'm ready to put this pity aside and truly dive into what is spectacular about this place, this season. There's art here, a local farmer's market, new friends, historic buildings and unique architecture. There is a chance for me to learn something in a place I would have never visited before. I am here. I am not in New England. I am not in Missouri. I am not in California. I am not somewhere oversees. I am in Florida and I am exactly where I am supposed to be, learning and doing the exact things I am supposed to do. It's time to recognize what it is here and fully embrace it and stop wishing for something new.

Yesterday I sat in a diner with A. I felt sorry for myself. I felt impatient. I felt so strongly about wanting to leave this place and go find comfort somewhere else. But when has comfort ever produced greatness?

  by springknitter

BPositive and BHere!