Thursday, January 19, 2012

A week of Patience: Day 1

As I promised, I stayed very conscious of patience today. It was harder than expected. I seemed to be getting along just fine as I stayed patient with other people, but patience with myself was another story.

I have a new role in an already established non-profit organization. The boundaries of my role are not clearly defined. It allows me to have creative freedom and space to spread my wings, but with that comes uncertainty and fear. It feels as though I am meant to take on some leadership, but my leadership skills are a little rusty.

Yesterday I had to run a meeting. It was my meeting. It wouldn't have existed, had I not sent out invitations, and suddenly there was pressure to perform. I was not just a participant, I was responsible! Responsible for making sure peoples' time was not wasted. Responsible for a productive outcome. Responsible for reporting back to my supervisor.

I expect a lot of myself especially when others are counting on me in some way. In most respects, I was happy with the outcome of the meeting. A lot of ideas circulated, plans were made, and people met for the first time and became excited about the prospect of these upcoming projects. For all those reasons, a meeting like this was a succes.

But then there was me. Walking home. Slightly unsettled. Not really sure what just happened and how it translates to forward progress. It was a mix of emotions, ideas, and uncertainty floating around in my head. What am I supposed to do with all this? Why can't this be a simpler task?

But the answer to these questions are clear now: Be patient, if it were simple your job wouldn't be necessary. It will come together. Be patient with the projects. Be patient with yourself.

It's true that time heals most wounds, but time also helps us develop into whatever we are to be. This experience helped me realize that patience with myself will allow me find out what that is as well as keep me sane while I take the journey to get there.

Patience day 1 by springknitter

BPositive and BPatient with Yourself!


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