Monday, July 18, 2011

Who am I?

Today I went for a walk and pondered this empty feeling I've been having. If I describe my life out loud, it sounds beautiful even to me. I look around and my life is truly beautiful. But that emptiness nags in times of silence.

We often define ourselves by what we have, what we do, what we like and where we are. But if you strip all those things away what is left?

These definitions are not definitions at all. But we make them that way.

I'm an artist. 
I'm a cook.
I'm a vegetarian. 
I love tea. 
I write letters. 
I keep a blog. 
I'm a runner. 
I live a healthy lifestyle.

I have defined myself by some of these things for a long time, but strip everything away and what's left standing in my spot?

On a walk today I pondered this because it seemed to be the leading cause to the emptiness. I  decided what is left standing with all the superficial things aside are:

My connection with God. 
My love for other people. 
My ability to appreciate nature. 
My inner smile. 
My innate desire to live a life that helps others.

Maybe these are truly parts of who I am. Maybe they are only what I think are the parts. Maybe I'll discover more along the may. Or maybe all of these are wrong. All I know is I feel less empty after finding them and I wonder how I could  have let myself be in hiding for so long? Why am I hiding behind everything in my life that is material, visible, explicable?

Walking braid by springknitter

I think there is a balance to having both, but which things are most important?

I've realized that maybe the adventure of simplifying my life isn't over yet. Maybe there is a whole second chapter out there that I'm meant to write. And it feels good to start opening that chapter.

Are you hiding behind your definitions?

BPositive and BWho you are Not What You Do!



  1. Rebecca -- I feel for you as you work through your "emptiness." You don't directly say it, but four of the five things you came up with as your essence all point to a further truth: you're not just connected to God, other people and Nature; you ARE those things, and they are you.
    Who you are to me, through this post, is a thoughtful, caring, generous, inquisitive, ever-growing person. Keep being what you're being so well!

  2. I don't know if following you on Whole Living or here is best. This is such a beautiful blog!

  3. This is definitely an inspiring post, and I may post something to mine like it later... It's always hard to get through the "emptiness", something I've been through lately as well. =)

    Check out my Blog #4

  4. You are so inspiring...real...I love your blog! I'm so glad I was "assigned" to comment on your blog because I've read so many great things and am so inspired! You remind me a lot of a friend of mine here in Oregon named Erin. She is another unique soul and I adore her! :)

    Thanks for taking the time to share your are making a difference for the good!

    lostinavalon @ SwapBot