Thursday, March 3, 2011

Find Some Change When Time Stands Still

As many of my readers know, I have traveled to some really excited places and seen beautiful and inspirational sites. As many of you also know, I am currently living in a small town that often has me craving the more nomadic lifestyle of my past. Sometimes weeks go by here, I look around, and what has happened?.... Nothing. The daydreamer inside of me thinks about my travels and how I was changing, morphing, learning, and seeing new things everyday. And now...Nothing!

But traveling and seeing new sites are the obvious ways to experience growth. I see a new natural landmark, I mark it in my memory. I am changed by that. I move on to the next scenic vista and suddenly everything is different. Just like that.

The harder but possibly more productive times of growth happen when our daily scenery does not rapidly change before our eyes. You can have both. I want you to have both! But I have found that some of my more meaningful changes have happened during some pretty boring living scenarios.

If we want to thrive we need to forever be growing no matter where we live or what we do. At least that is the philosophy that I have adopted in my life. 

People, like trees, must grow or die. There's no standing still. A tree dies when its roots become blocked. A human being becomes mentally and spiritually, and eventually physically, dead when the circumstances of his life keep him from achieving. Psychologists and sociologists spend their lives trying to patch up individuals and institutions that have stopped growing. -- Joseph Shore

I was talking to M today on the phone. It had been a week and a half since we touched base which is a monumentally long time for us. So much had been happening to her and I felt like we hadn’t connected in ages. When she asked what had been going on with me during our gap I realized that outwardly, nothing had been happening.  And I simply told her "nothing" in fear of beating to death my old stories with the monotony stick. 

Of course, M would never mind hearing the old stuff again. She would encourage me to talk. But  frankly, I didn't want to tell those old sob stories . I didn't want to continue to relive them over and over again. I wanted to feel like I was moving forward and growing, not feeling sorry for myself and relying on pity to get by.

While purposely ignoring the accounts of the week and walking in the sunshine talking to M, I realized that I was quite content. And instead of those nagging frustrations of everyday life, I wanted to share the things with her that had changed over the past week. It dawned on me that a lot had happened this week....Inside. 

I just love growing from within. It's a constant adventure within myself. It doesn't require perfect scenery, or lots of money, or fancy food, or even certain people to share it with. The only thing I need is me. Me with an open mind and an open heart. And since I am always stuck with myself, I'd like to make the very best of it!

So I dove right in and told M how much I had grown this week: Everyday I am continuing to understand my capabilities, my strengths and weaknesses a little bit better. I am listening to my heart and understanding what my gut tells me. I am letting go of my controlling ways and allowing life to just happen. I am slowing down to take in the things about life that are beautiful. I take time to be thankful for what I do have and not dwell on what I don’t have. And I am allowing myself to look positively into the future to see what could be out there for me.

After saying it out loud I knew it was all true. I felt it in the very core. How can that not be news from the past week? How could I have been so ignorant to my own growth and development as a person. 

I really want to let people out there know that times do get hard. Life can sometimes seem monotonous. There may be struggle that feels insurmountable. I feel your pain. I really do. On the opposite spectrum, I know the highs of life; The carefree, fly by the seat of your pants, adventurous spirit approach. No matter what situation you are in, you always have the power to explore who you are.

I know I feel the loneliest and saddest when I don’t let myself grow. I don't like the way I look on the outside and I feel uninspired to write and create. But I feel proud, hopeful and content when I know my heart is being cared for... by me. The love of others, alone cannot fight off the feelings of loneliness or discontent. Your hearts needs you to feel love for yourself. 

There is no time in our lives that is not important. No matter how mundane it feels. Every minute is an opportunity to continue to grow. And it doesn't matter how you do it! It's personalized to you. I just love knowing that at any moment I have the choice to take a walk in the sunshine to do some self exploration. Or just close my eyes, wherever I am, and tell myself that "everything is going to be okay."  We may be bound to certain hours of the day but if we are really honest with ourselves, there is always time to do these things. The times that we may watching TV or sitting indoors eating lunch or playing around on Facebook (guilty as charged!) And sometimes it's good to say "I choose me." I choose me over anything else right now because I am important and I deserve to invest time into myself.

Feeling good on the inside makes things much more beautiful on the outside. We're able to handle a lot more based on that inner strength. So do it for you. Give yourself some love and allow yourself to explore who you are. Because if we're not growing, what are we doing?

BPositive and BForever Growing!

Love always,

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