Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I Can't Fix You

I have many revelations everyday. For this I am thankful. This morning I had an important revelation. One that has been building over time. But today the words came out perfect, simple and sincere.

"I Can't Fix You"

The 'You' relates to so people. People I don't know who I come across on the street. People I interact with in the bank and the supermarket. People I love dearly and who are close to me. People who are friends or acquaintances. We all have a 'You' in our lives that we want to fix. Because we want this 'You' to be happy all the time!

As a person with a caretaker's instinct, a need to control my surroundings, and just wanting everyone around me to be happy, I am often a slave to others' discomforts. I want to do the right things that will take away their stress and shower them with positivity when they are feeling negative.

But when does this actually work?

Lately, I'm realizing that it almost never works. Mainly because I am trying to help when people don't really need or want it.

And there is nothing wrong with that. It's simply not my job! Of course they don't want it! They want to make themselves feel better!

So...My Revelation again, so simple:

I Can't Fix You.

You don't need or want to be fixed.
You feel stressed.
I can't de-stress you.
Only you can.
You feel negative.
I can't smother you with positivity.
You have to want to be positive.
You feel tired.
I can't fix your sleep.
You feel anxious.
I can't relax you.
You have to find peace within yourself.

What a load off my shoulders! And likely a load off of everyone else's, who didn't need my help anyway!


But here I am wondering; what can I do?

I can support you.
I can love you.
I can care for you in the ways I know how.
I can listen.
I can talk when you ask for advice or perspective.
I can be myself.
And that's about it.
But that has to be enough.
Because I am who I am.
And so are you :)

I'm not saying to be selfish and only worry about yourself. Loving, supporting, helping, listening, etc. is so important especially if the people in your life are in a time of need in some way. But make sure they need and want your help. And if they're feeling negative, frustrated or anxious, know that it's not your job to fix those things. You'll only end up frustrating yourself and feeling unwanted when they don't receive your 'fix.' Just be there, and be you.

Till next time! I've got some new blog art on the way and a post that I'll be submitting in a competition...

Here's a preview..

The contest has me writing about my biggest accomplishment to date. This is a little tricky for me as I am not much of a superlative person. But I think I have some ideas. And it will likely be posted with a nice, new pink blog sign! What ever will the positive message be?

BPositive and BSupportive but not a Fix-It person! Just B your Sunshiny self!


1 comment:

  1. Hi Becca,
    Its me Mindy from our other blog, I just love this post, its a great way to think. I am now following you too1