The Sadness Handkerchief

I go months and months without crying real tears. And then one day they all come out, representing every emotion repressed or previously misled. Today I couldn't find the right distraction. My husband A has a lot going on. Everyone feels so far away. Most of them are at least a plane ride.

From my bed I saw a perfect little white handkerchief with the letter B embroidered on the corner, perched on the mantel. It's been untouched by tears, perfectly preserved in the old cigar box painted powder blue. It was a gift of thanks with meaning deeper than I can explain in words. It felt the right time to put it to use. I wrote down a few words on small pieces of paper. Short. Sweet. Telling words. Words that belong to my heart. That are for my eyes only.

I share this because we all have sadness that creeps out from the darkness. And maybe letting it out one word, one tear or one thought at a time will provide you with the relief it provided me.

BPositive and BFree!

Love,
B

Road Trip Flashback #1

It's fulfilling to look back on our experiences. They build our character and teach us things about ourselves we never knew. A and I decided to do a blog series together remembering our life road trip through Instagram photos. We both agreed we were glad not to have this technology at the time (talk about distracting!) but we're sure glad to have it now :) enjoy some "enhanced" versions of moments on a really significant journey.

Here's to I Love You

A and I have never really been ones to celebrate Valentine's Day. We're not strangers to the romantic dinner or coming home with surprises, but we've always struggled to find excitement for this one particular day that we all simultaneously celebrate.

It's not that I'm anti-valentines day. In fact I love any day that people choose to celebrate love and not hate. We spend so much of our time finding the flaws in the world. What's not refreshing about a day devoted to the compassion in our hearts?

Although A and I probably won't do anything out of the ordinary on the 14th of February I wanted to recognize that I'm glad we have a day devoted to love. I still have the valentines day cards my dad gave me growing up and I like hearing about people's plans and how they choose to celebrate. Love is a good topic. We should have more days about love!

This February I got crafty (I know...what month do I not get crafty?) I get to see A everyday and tell him I love him but I don't get to do that for the other loves in my life. It's one of the ways I know how to show I care. Making things truly comes from the heart and I'm glad to have so many to share it with.

Happy day of love!

BPositive and BLoving!
Love,
B

Call me domestic...

A and I like to start our morning together. It's easy to be distracted by iPads and morning text messages. But I try and make it a point to make breakfast and sit together. Even it's just sitting sleepily at the same table (I'm a bit more of a morning person than A....)

Call me domestic, but I love to cook. The art of preparing something that is nourishing and vibrant is exactly what I need to start my day. Veganism has given me the opportunity to make all sorts of things for breakfast that I may not have made in the past. I thought I'd share some photos from our morning.

It takes a little extra effort but it makes all the difference in how we start our day. Happy morning friends!

Rise and Create!

Who says you have to start your day with the same routine morning after morning?

Coffee.... Paper.... Run off to work....

Try something different. I'm certain it will give you an extra boost :)

Yesterday I pulled out a few paints and started a little project. It was only 5 minutes or so of painting but it was such a sweet way to start my day.

Thought I would share some morning inspiration! Happy Thursday friends!

BPositive and BFree!

Love,
B

Replenish Your Pool

It's amazing how the culmination of a week or even a day can leave us dazed and confused. What happened? How did my emotions go from happy and peaceful to irritable and frustrated in such a short period of time?

It's usually not one thing but a myriad of events that bring us to our "breaking points." This is where I usually analyze, compartmentalize, write, talk, and pray.

And from all that there are often very simple things that bring me back to even grounds.

-taking one hour to myself in the morning to drink tea, read, write, listed to music, or watch a TV show

-take time for myself after work to run or read or shop or cook

-do a project for my house on my sewing machine or knit something for myself

The key is to do something for YOU. Whether we are mothers, wives, husbands, providers, sisters, brothers, or someone's best friend, we spend a lot of our day doing things for other people. The beauty in the world is because of this. But we must refill our pools and find love for ourselves when we're tired and stressed. It's no ones job but our own to give ourselves what we truly need. And sometimes that is just a little time.

This morning, feeling as though I needed a week to recuperate from my last few days I'm surprisingly refreshed and alive. Simply because I let myself enjoy tea and my journal and a little blog time.

Now I'm ready to go and take on this chilly Pensacola morning and all that it holds!

What will you do for YOU today? Refill your pool!

BPositive and BFree!

Love,
B

Tunnel Vision

I started a new job this past week. Every day had constant work, fast pace schedules, and influxes of new information. I was traveling down the the work tunnel.

At the same time I found this tunnel to be a distraction. It occurred to me just how distracted I had been when I was falling apart at the drop of a hat and shouting at my poor husband A for absolutely nothing that he had inflicted.

Mid freak out I had no idea what my problem was. I had a great week. I was happy to be settling back into the swing of things. I've been catching up with friends and learning my new job.

It turns out that my focused energy on work and orderly life was really just a distraction from dealing with my emotions. Feelings about being home and then leaving again. Feelings about this next phase in my life and in my marriage. Feelings about distance between me and all these people I love. Feelings about my purpose here and how I'm meant to have an impact.

All and all the freak out was welcome and necessary. I know I can't ignore these feelings. I have to find balance in doing my work in a focused fashion without tunneling into a falsely perfect life. Life is not perfect and tunnel vision is only a distraction from what's really going on.

This weeks focus will be about balance and about embracing all the truths that come with this crazy life.

Have a great start to your week! How will you create balance?